January can be a bastard. I remember feeling like I’d been punched in the face last year because I’d just got back from Venizia, had a really chilled New Years and then came back to London, sad that I was without my sisters.
This year, however, life is equally crap without them, but it’s okay. I’m reminding myself that feeling slightly-insane, let’s be real, bat-shit crazy, without my sisters is totally normal. No-one else quite understands what I mean when I’m trying to get my words out, and no one, but my big sister can calm me the way she does, with a wonderful hug, or a simple sentence that makes everything okay.
What I’m trying to say is that I miss them. I miss our conversations about nothing at all and everything that we deem important.
It is a damn effort keeping my cool, staying relaxed, and functioning well, without having them here to giggle about the silly stuff with, roll my eyes with, or just be a massive goof with.
But I’m telling myself, easy now, if they were here, I’d forget about whatever nonsense is going on in my head, and I’d realise I’ve been teetering on the edge of melodramatic for a week now, and that’s just excessive.
I miss them. But I get to see my twin sister this weekend. Sticking to Skype and FaceTime with my big sister, which will just have to do, until I get to squeeze her in person.
I’m reminding myself also, that I’m getting fitter. I’m not quite a new year, new me person. That’s just silly bollocks that makes me chuckle. I have, unexpectedly, however, been going that bit harder with my workouts. I didn’t realise how far I could push it, until I did the other week and holy moly did my body ache. It’s fun though – seeing how far you can go.
See, January ain’t so bad. And ooh look, you’re doing just fine.
Take it easy.